Oh the weather outside is frightful...
Well, actually today it is quite GORGEOUS outside. It has been below freezing all week, snowy, windy, and gloomy. Today we are blessed with some sunshine and semi-clear skies! Christmas wreathes, lights, bows, and music are flooding throughout town and everyone seems to have that holiday glow about them. I LOVE the month of December. I love that we have lights on all the houses and buildings - why can't we have pretty lights all year around? Or at least while it's cold out? They just warm up the cold night air!
Today I am sitting in J&B - my favorite local joint and the only place I can go to study, other than my house. Obviously, I am taking a study break. Finals loom in the weeks ahead and it is just so daunting to look at my class' review. The knowledge that I will soon be expected to regurgitate information on food safety and sanitation, food borne illnesses and the bacteria/toxins/viruses that cause them, etc is somewhat scary to me. Especially when there are so many movies to be seen, people to invest time in, and holiday flavors to enjoy! So, I worked on one assignment and have now decided to spend my time in a more productive way: blogging.
This semester has been a long, hard journey for me. All semester, I wanted it to be over - I have hated these last few months. Granted, I have had many fun and precious moments. Bachelorette parties and 21st birthdays celebrated, welcoming 70 new girls into ADPi, a few trips to Marfa - there have definitely been some good moments. But, this was also the semester when life decided to hit me in the face. My best friend and partner in crime was diagnosed with aggressive Lymphoma. He has spent the majority of the last three months in hospitals, connected to various machines and medications. Our phone-chatting has become a rare occassion - when you are accustomed to talking to someone on an hourly basis, that is a life-altering experience. He is sick and there is nothing that I can do but pray and be strong for him. Or so I thought...
My newest goal and hobby, if you will, is training for a 1/2 marathon. I researched runs put on in order to raise money for Lymphoma research and promote awareness of blood cancers. I stumbled upon the Big D Marathon...occurring on April 11, 2010. The run will be in Dallas - how convenient since John lives and is being treated in Fort Worth! I might not be able to heal my best friend or really do anything but keep our relationship normal. I might not be able to be with all the time like I want to do. BUT, he loves to run and made it a huge part of his life for many years. We used to share our running experiences together and talk on the phone as we commuted to early morning workouts. He runs on a much higher level than I ever had but we always shared that together. Right now, John is not running. He is enjoying a lazy lifestyle and getting to finally eat whatever, whenever, he so desires. I am currently training for the Big D 1/2 Marathon. I have gotten up to 5 miles of consecutive running...just 8 more to go!
If I can't be with him or make him better, I can dedicate my time and energy (and also gain a rockin' bod...or so I hope) to raising money for research and hopefully finding a cure to Lymphoma. If you would like to help with the financial part, I will be getting back to yall with information...when I know more!
So, though I have finals to worry about, I am excited for this semester to be over. As the leaves continue to drop from trees, I am ready to "turn a new leaf" and start afresh. That's the lovely part of college - each semester is a fresh start. I am ready to achieve my goal of running 15 miles, to spend a few weeks with family and friends from my childhood, and to live large - largely in love, largely in holiday celebrations, and largely as I remember the gift of Life and Love that baby Jesus provided so many years ago.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
"Peace - that was the other name for home."
Home is where your MOM is. Home is not where you live but where they understand you. Home is where the heart is.
The three quotes about all have one central theme: HOME. They all talk about the truth of home - it's not necessarily WHERE you live. Perhaps it's more about the quality of living that happens. It's not about your bedroom or your social groups or where you store your belongings - it's more about the love you receive, the life you lead, and the experiences that get you through the day. Each of the above quotes has captured the ideas of home for me, home in three different places. I grew up in Dallas, so that will always be my home. I go to school in Lubbock and love the life I have created there. Then there is my third home. I never "lived" there for long periods of time, I dont keep belongings there, I dont really even know THAT many people in the town. Marfa, Texas, however, and all of West Texas for that matter, will always be my home away from home.
Home is where your mom is. Wow, so very true. I never even realized the magnitude of this statement until I left for college. After my first emotional breakdown (oh, probably 3 hours after my family left me in dusty Lubbock), I quickly came to the realization that I NEEDED my mother. Not just for driving me to and from school or keeping the kitchen stocked or planning events for the family either. I needed her emotionally, spiritually, even physically needed my mom. My freshman year of college was awesome - I had the best roommate a girl could ask for, loved a local church, finally lived in the same town as my best friend. Things were good for me. Yet, I needed those phone calls with mom on the other end for stability and comfort. That first semester of school really hit home to me - I need and want my family more than I had ever realized.
Recently, mom and I were on a mini-roadtrip and got to talking about where I consider home to be. She said "surely you consider Lubbock your home now" after I said that Dallas was home. I just can't accept the fact that I have only one home - it's too deep of a word, implies to many emotions and memories to be so limited. It didn't take me long to get over that feeling when you're a freshman home from school. You know the one - you HAVE to constantly be with all your old high school friends. Nah, I passed that and immediately realized I would rather watch t.v. with the family than be out running around. It was during this road trip that I realized something: for me, home is where ever my family is. We can be at my grandmother's house or Colorado or on some fun vacation and so long as I am with my family, I will be happy. Home is where your mom is - sometimes you just need your mom's voice or presence to make things better. If mom is in Dallas, that will be home. If we are together somewhere else, that's just as comforting as being in my childhood town.
Home is not where you live but where they understand you. Wow. This one completely bottles up my college town: Lubbock, Texas. Granted, I'm only halfway done with school but it doesnt take the full four years to realize if that is where you should have gone or not. I knew before I got accepted that Texas Tech and Lubbock was where I needed to be. It took me a semester and a half to personally be aware just how perfect the match was.
By my second semester of freshman year, I had my friend groups that were no longer new friends (they had survived through Christmas break - always an accomplishment), I had a church I loved and people there I knew, and I had my sorority that I was slowly getting more and more used to. That one took a little longer to realized just how much I loved being an ADPi and how much it added to my life. Granted, they aren't for every one - that's very obvious - but, for me, it was a good addition to my life. If home is not where you live but where they understand you, than Lubbock is certainly home for me. I have made my life there. I have a support system and people who I hope to stay in contact with long after college. When I leave Dallas to go back to school, I say "I'm going home." People there understand the love I have for west Texas - after all, they live there too. They understand that Lubbock isnt as bad as people seem to think and that Tech really is better than A&M (haha...). Those in my sorority understand the connection that ADPi brings - it's a one of a kind relationship that you get to have with hundreds of other ADPi's. We are sisters, as cheezy as that may sound, and chose to join that particular group because of a connection we felt with the women of the sorority. People in Lubbock understand me. Lubbock is home.
And yet I still have what I claim to be my "true home." If home is where the HEART is, then Marfa, Texas has been home to me for many many years. I left my heart there many trips ago and my love for the far west, for the people and lifestyle and ranching that consumes it, has only grown since then. Though I would hardly call myself a "local," we have been going out to the little red and white house in town for years - our trips began as "Camp Marfa" with 15-20 people in a 2 bedroom house for a week and are now mostly for vacation and holidays. The magic of West Texas cannot be explained or illustrated - it must be personally experienced. For me, I love the weather and the natural soundtrack of the daily activities in town. Sitting on the porch you hear birds, kids laughing at the park, trucks driving by, trains pushing through town, gates swinging back and forth, and the wind rustling in the trees. There's no need to have music playing in the house - you will miss the beauty of Marfa if you mask it's own, unique music. I love it out there. If a cowboy came and took me away to a ranch out in the far west of Texas, I would hardly complain - more likely I would gladly take his hand and follow him to the land of mountains, cattle, and summer rains.
West Texas stole my heart long ago. Most of my best friends and favorite people are those I have met out there. Even if we rarely see each other, we share the love of the west - that alone seems to connect long-distance relationships in ways even constant texting cannot do. Whether I am at school or studying abroad, Marfa is the place I would RATHER be - even my time in Spain proved this to be true. It's my place, through and through.
So, whoever says you only have one true home clearly limited their own life. You can claim home wherever you want - it need only have that emotional connection, that way of tugging at your heart strings more than usual. Home is not necessarily a tangible building with beds and rooms and food in it. It's a concept, an idea that brings you peace and love and contentment. Afterall, peace was the other name for home.
The three quotes about all have one central theme: HOME. They all talk about the truth of home - it's not necessarily WHERE you live. Perhaps it's more about the quality of living that happens. It's not about your bedroom or your social groups or where you store your belongings - it's more about the love you receive, the life you lead, and the experiences that get you through the day. Each of the above quotes has captured the ideas of home for me, home in three different places. I grew up in Dallas, so that will always be my home. I go to school in Lubbock and love the life I have created there. Then there is my third home. I never "lived" there for long periods of time, I dont keep belongings there, I dont really even know THAT many people in the town. Marfa, Texas, however, and all of West Texas for that matter, will always be my home away from home.
Home is where your mom is. Wow, so very true. I never even realized the magnitude of this statement until I left for college. After my first emotional breakdown (oh, probably 3 hours after my family left me in dusty Lubbock), I quickly came to the realization that I NEEDED my mother. Not just for driving me to and from school or keeping the kitchen stocked or planning events for the family either. I needed her emotionally, spiritually, even physically needed my mom. My freshman year of college was awesome - I had the best roommate a girl could ask for, loved a local church, finally lived in the same town as my best friend. Things were good for me. Yet, I needed those phone calls with mom on the other end for stability and comfort. That first semester of school really hit home to me - I need and want my family more than I had ever realized.
Recently, mom and I were on a mini-roadtrip and got to talking about where I consider home to be. She said "surely you consider Lubbock your home now" after I said that Dallas was home. I just can't accept the fact that I have only one home - it's too deep of a word, implies to many emotions and memories to be so limited. It didn't take me long to get over that feeling when you're a freshman home from school. You know the one - you HAVE to constantly be with all your old high school friends. Nah, I passed that and immediately realized I would rather watch t.v. with the family than be out running around. It was during this road trip that I realized something: for me, home is where ever my family is. We can be at my grandmother's house or Colorado or on some fun vacation and so long as I am with my family, I will be happy. Home is where your mom is - sometimes you just need your mom's voice or presence to make things better. If mom is in Dallas, that will be home. If we are together somewhere else, that's just as comforting as being in my childhood town.
Home is not where you live but where they understand you. Wow. This one completely bottles up my college town: Lubbock, Texas. Granted, I'm only halfway done with school but it doesnt take the full four years to realize if that is where you should have gone or not. I knew before I got accepted that Texas Tech and Lubbock was where I needed to be. It took me a semester and a half to personally be aware just how perfect the match was.
By my second semester of freshman year, I had my friend groups that were no longer new friends (they had survived through Christmas break - always an accomplishment), I had a church I loved and people there I knew, and I had my sorority that I was slowly getting more and more used to. That one took a little longer to realized just how much I loved being an ADPi and how much it added to my life. Granted, they aren't for every one - that's very obvious - but, for me, it was a good addition to my life. If home is not where you live but where they understand you, than Lubbock is certainly home for me. I have made my life there. I have a support system and people who I hope to stay in contact with long after college. When I leave Dallas to go back to school, I say "I'm going home." People there understand the love I have for west Texas - after all, they live there too. They understand that Lubbock isnt as bad as people seem to think and that Tech really is better than A&M (haha...). Those in my sorority understand the connection that ADPi brings - it's a one of a kind relationship that you get to have with hundreds of other ADPi's. We are sisters, as cheezy as that may sound, and chose to join that particular group because of a connection we felt with the women of the sorority. People in Lubbock understand me. Lubbock is home.
And yet I still have what I claim to be my "true home." If home is where the HEART is, then Marfa, Texas has been home to me for many many years. I left my heart there many trips ago and my love for the far west, for the people and lifestyle and ranching that consumes it, has only grown since then. Though I would hardly call myself a "local," we have been going out to the little red and white house in town for years - our trips began as "Camp Marfa" with 15-20 people in a 2 bedroom house for a week and are now mostly for vacation and holidays. The magic of West Texas cannot be explained or illustrated - it must be personally experienced. For me, I love the weather and the natural soundtrack of the daily activities in town. Sitting on the porch you hear birds, kids laughing at the park, trucks driving by, trains pushing through town, gates swinging back and forth, and the wind rustling in the trees. There's no need to have music playing in the house - you will miss the beauty of Marfa if you mask it's own, unique music. I love it out there. If a cowboy came and took me away to a ranch out in the far west of Texas, I would hardly complain - more likely I would gladly take his hand and follow him to the land of mountains, cattle, and summer rains.
West Texas stole my heart long ago. Most of my best friends and favorite people are those I have met out there. Even if we rarely see each other, we share the love of the west - that alone seems to connect long-distance relationships in ways even constant texting cannot do. Whether I am at school or studying abroad, Marfa is the place I would RATHER be - even my time in Spain proved this to be true. It's my place, through and through.
So, whoever says you only have one true home clearly limited their own life. You can claim home wherever you want - it need only have that emotional connection, that way of tugging at your heart strings more than usual. Home is not necessarily a tangible building with beds and rooms and food in it. It's a concept, an idea that brings you peace and love and contentment. Afterall, peace was the other name for home.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
the secret to a good valentine's day.
This past saturday was a day that can either be highly anticipated or seriously dreaded - and your opinion on such a day can literally change in a matter of seconds. It all depends on what your relationship status is preceeding and on the day of Valentine's Day. You see, I love Valentine's Day. Like, from a very young age, my mother embedded in her children a great love for the heart shaped items, the chocolates, the silly cards, red and pink EVERYTHING, and especially having yet another reason to give and receive gifts. We are only human - we can't help but have the selfish desire to get more gifts only a short time after Christmas.
So, for the past twenty or so years, I have always anticipated Valentine's Day. Please let it be known that I anticipate this debated holiday despite the fact that I have never had a male valentine. Let me explain... I think that this day of hearts and love and cheeziness galor is nothing but a GREAT excuse to dress up, buy candy, and have a night out. I can't tell you how many times I have heard a girl moping about not having a "valentine" and having to celebrate the newly termed "Single Awareness Day" rather than the desired "Valentine's Day." GIRL, you gotta embrace the excuse to dress up, eat a more expensive meal than you normally would, have a cocktail (or three...), and be with numerous valentines - your girlfriends! Chances are, you are NOT the only single lady that you know who is looking for something to do on such a dreaded day. This year I took my own advice and had one of the best days I have had in a while. My friends, Katie and Erin, and I treated ourselves to pedicures where they serve wine spritzers and have the fancy massage chairs. That alone was a glorious event! Those chairs gave me a better massage than any guy has...what a great valentine gift to myself! Then, we dressed up in heels and makeup, something we three NEVER do together, and met some other friends at a japanese hibachi steakhouse. Plus, those other girls were friends we really never hang out with - they were just three more girls looking for something to do. We had a fabulous time chatting with our personal chef (the only white chef in the resturant), visiting, and eating a VERY yummy meal - not even a meal...more like a dining experience. Afterwards, we went home and had some yummy post-dinner snacks and just hung out. Such a good time. Such good company. Not awkward or frivolous or nervewrecking. Just fun. The only down side? No fresh flowers for the kitchen. But that's okay - my roommate got some :)
All this to say, next year, whether you have a special hunny or not, EMBRACE the heart shaped candies (valentine's candy is always better - it's fresher than normal candy), buy childish valentines for your friends, and GO OUT. Don't you be sitting on your couch alone. It's just another way to help out the economy and another excuse to have a girls' night. Start planning now!
So, for the past twenty or so years, I have always anticipated Valentine's Day. Please let it be known that I anticipate this debated holiday despite the fact that I have never had a male valentine. Let me explain... I think that this day of hearts and love and cheeziness galor is nothing but a GREAT excuse to dress up, buy candy, and have a night out. I can't tell you how many times I have heard a girl moping about not having a "valentine" and having to celebrate the newly termed "Single Awareness Day" rather than the desired "Valentine's Day." GIRL, you gotta embrace the excuse to dress up, eat a more expensive meal than you normally would, have a cocktail (or three...), and be with numerous valentines - your girlfriends! Chances are, you are NOT the only single lady that you know who is looking for something to do on such a dreaded day. This year I took my own advice and had one of the best days I have had in a while. My friends, Katie and Erin, and I treated ourselves to pedicures where they serve wine spritzers and have the fancy massage chairs. That alone was a glorious event! Those chairs gave me a better massage than any guy has...what a great valentine gift to myself! Then, we dressed up in heels and makeup, something we three NEVER do together, and met some other friends at a japanese hibachi steakhouse. Plus, those other girls were friends we really never hang out with - they were just three more girls looking for something to do. We had a fabulous time chatting with our personal chef (the only white chef in the resturant), visiting, and eating a VERY yummy meal - not even a meal...more like a dining experience. Afterwards, we went home and had some yummy post-dinner snacks and just hung out. Such a good time. Such good company. Not awkward or frivolous or nervewrecking. Just fun. The only down side? No fresh flowers for the kitchen. But that's okay - my roommate got some :)
All this to say, next year, whether you have a special hunny or not, EMBRACE the heart shaped candies (valentine's candy is always better - it's fresher than normal candy), buy childish valentines for your friends, and GO OUT. Don't you be sitting on your couch alone. It's just another way to help out the economy and another excuse to have a girls' night. Start planning now!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
fail.
Well, I am not doing so good with my "29 days" experiment. As shameful as it is to admit, I have missed a few days. I hope it's not because I am THAT self absorbed. I feel there just isnt always a moment to do something noticeable for someone else. Although, maybe the issue is finding ways to be sneaky about giving to others, not finding ways to be acknowledged for good or kind deeds. Maybe it's in the extra time taken to hold open a door for someone, go to lunch with a friend even when you really dont have the time, or offering to drive using YOUR gas. Maybe it's being excited for your friend's good news - even if you're not crazy about the news. Maybe it's going to a planned event even if you're not totally psyched for it - just going because someone planned it. I can't let myself think that the only way to do something for someone costs money or is tangible. I really believe that just listening to them rant about the same issues with the same boy or sending a nice text message can make the biggest difference in someone's day.
Yesterday my roommate Carrie had her first published story in the Tech paper. She loves writing and having a story published is a huge deal for her. So, as one of my 29 things (I guess this is number 3 that I have tracked?), I cut the article out and put it on the fridge. Maybe just seeing it up there will make her smile on a regular basis - there's a kind deed that carries on day after day.
Yesterday my roommate Carrie had her first published story in the Tech paper. She loves writing and having a story published is a huge deal for her. So, as one of my 29 things (I guess this is number 3 that I have tracked?), I cut the article out and put it on the fridge. Maybe just seeing it up there will make her smile on a regular basis - there's a kind deed that carries on day after day.
Monday, January 19, 2009
a RIDICULOUS invention.
I came across what I truly believe to be the STUPIDEST invention yet. It is nothing necessary, nothing that really even makes sense to me. I have yet to experience this new creation while it was actually WORKING.
Today I went in to the lovely Texas Tech Library and needed to go to the restroom. I went into the shiny, brand-new Ladies Room and was surprised to see that everything is now automatic. By everything, I mean EVERYTHING...even the toilet paper dispenser! And this brings me to my least favorite invention thus far. The automatic toilet paper dispenser. I do NOT understand the need for such a creation. I mean, to get toilet paper, the biggest effort is leaning over to rip it from the roll. That's it! You dont have to touch anything making it an unsanitary experience. There's no knob or pull that will become germ-infested as more people use it. I suppose the only reason for such a tool is so as not to waste toilet paper. I, personally, just dont think that's a good enough reason to choose to enforce such ridiculousness upon the restroom users of today. Both times I used the forementioned restroom, I had to use the manual crank to get toilet paper. THAT IS NASTY! I had to sit there, realize that the automatic factor would not be working at that moment, figure out how to get the needed TP, then personally crank a few squares out. What a hassle! So again, I ask: WHAT IS THE POINT IN THIS CREATION???
Today I went in to the lovely Texas Tech Library and needed to go to the restroom. I went into the shiny, brand-new Ladies Room and was surprised to see that everything is now automatic. By everything, I mean EVERYTHING...even the toilet paper dispenser! And this brings me to my least favorite invention thus far. The automatic toilet paper dispenser. I do NOT understand the need for such a creation. I mean, to get toilet paper, the biggest effort is leaning over to rip it from the roll. That's it! You dont have to touch anything making it an unsanitary experience. There's no knob or pull that will become germ-infested as more people use it. I suppose the only reason for such a tool is so as not to waste toilet paper. I, personally, just dont think that's a good enough reason to choose to enforce such ridiculousness upon the restroom users of today. Both times I used the forementioned restroom, I had to use the manual crank to get toilet paper. THAT IS NASTY! I had to sit there, realize that the automatic factor would not be working at that moment, figure out how to get the needed TP, then personally crank a few squares out. What a hassle! So again, I ask: WHAT IS THE POINT IN THIS CREATION???
Sunday, January 18, 2009
29days:day2 (saturday)
Well today started off as a good day. It began, however, with plans to be very selfish with my time and schedule. I woke up at 10am (VERY late for me) and planned to lay in bed watching tv for a bit then head off to the REC for a workout before starting the day. It's much easier and better for me when I make my workout be the first thing I do - then I actually GO. Anyways, I had my early afternoon well planned out until Carrie, my only roommate home this weekend, came knocking at my door. She peeked in and asked if I wanted to watch this week's Grey's Anatomy and eat homemade pancakes. This, of course, had not been in the day's plan, only moments before.
But sometimes you just know what people need, even if it's just a bit of time to watch a movie. So, I put on my robe, made a big pot of coffee, and proceeded to assist with the pancakes. Two hours, a big pot of coffee, and many pancakes later, I made it to the gym. But, before doing so, I got some lovely roommie time in. That's the greatest gift of all, but that's just my opinion.
But sometimes you just know what people need, even if it's just a bit of time to watch a movie. So, I put on my robe, made a big pot of coffee, and proceeded to assist with the pancakes. Two hours, a big pot of coffee, and many pancakes later, I made it to the gym. But, before doing so, I got some lovely roommie time in. That's the greatest gift of all, but that's just my opinion.
Friday, January 16, 2009
29days:day1
Today was my first day for my "29 Days" experience. I bought Alysha's Diet Dr. Pepper from Sonic. She's a bride-to-be and we all know what that means...EVERY PENNY COUNTS. The beverages supplied the caffeine needed to make it to, through, and from David's Bridal (a place I hope I never have to return to) and quenched my extreme thirst. Thank goodness for Sonic's ever consistent beverage making...thank goodness for friends to share the beverages with!
perhaps i found a new passion.
Today I partook in an essential activity to any girl's life. I saw yards of tulle, thousands of sparkly beads, dozens of dresses in even more colors, and multiple brides-to-be. Yes, that's right: I went bridal gown shopping with my precious friend Alysha. Alysha gave me a gift that I hope everyone has at least once in their life. I get to be her maid of honor in December as she weds a guy who is perfect for her in many ways. As Alysha and I started discussing flowers, cakes, locations, dresses, who to invite (and more importantly, who NOT to invite), and so many more details, I realized the truth that I have always kind of known: I LOVE WEDDINGS. Not just love as in I enjoy going to weddings, looking at magazines, dreaming about my own. Don't get me wrong, I love all those things. But I love looking at the bride hold her hand out to show off that lond-desired ring. I love the emotion women emit when talking about wedding ideas, past weddings, and what happens after the wedding. I love to dream about my own special day - a day that while I cant wait to partake in, I equally don't want to wish for it because then it's over. And that is sad.
Weddings equal excitement for a life of companionship and love, sadness at acknowledging the young ones have grown up, desire knowing the night to come, and faith that no one could love you more than the person next to you at the altar. So much peace and passion and love comes from one day. Some ceremonies last less than half an hour (such a travesty to me!) but even just those thirty minutes bring so much to the table. I'm the girl who cries at EVERY wedding. I have even been known to cry at weddings when I know neither the bride nor the groom. It's too big of a moment, an experience, a story to me to NOT recognize with the purity of tears.
For example, I recently saw the new bridal comedy, "Bride Wars". This movie is a must see. It has a fabulous cast and is truly funny. Like the funny that makes you smile after you stop laughing because it's just that good. Anyways, it was at the wedding part of the movie when it hit me. One of the brides has no father to walk her down the aisle and no mother to help her button up the gown. Her best friend is not speaking to her (more like disposing of artillery on her) and her other friends are stuck between having to choose friends. She doesn't even have her fiancé because he's at the other end of the church WAITING for her. She's alone! ON HER WEDDING DAY. That realization, triggered by a slightly humorous moment, brought the water works! I mean, not only did I cry, I SOBBED. The kind of cry where even just thinking about it the next day makes you start crying all over again. Well after the movie had ended, I continued to have tears dripping from my face. It wasn't a pretty sight. But the thing that gets me, in retrospect, wasn't that I was hit by some depressing story and there was no hope. I was hit with the spirit of thanksgiving that I still have all those important relationships in my life. I was hit with the acknowledgment that, even with the most expensive and beautiful wedding, without the people who love you and have made your life complete, you're wedding is nothing more than frivolity and dress-up.
As I watched my dear friend and many strangers imagine themselves in satin and lace on the day we all look forward to, I remembered the need for relationships. The need we have to experience life WITH people. The big times in life are nothing when you have no one to share them with.
Back to the title of this post, I know now what I love. I love weddings. Not for the money put into them or the beautiful dresses or the mushy love songs. My passion comes from knowing the past - the story of how the couple met; the present - what this wedding and marriage mean to them; and the future - understanding the need to share life with your special someone. It's so much more than the dress and the cake (blasphemy, I know!). But then again, those are pretty good perks :)
Weddings equal excitement for a life of companionship and love, sadness at acknowledging the young ones have grown up, desire knowing the night to come, and faith that no one could love you more than the person next to you at the altar. So much peace and passion and love comes from one day. Some ceremonies last less than half an hour (such a travesty to me!) but even just those thirty minutes bring so much to the table. I'm the girl who cries at EVERY wedding. I have even been known to cry at weddings when I know neither the bride nor the groom. It's too big of a moment, an experience, a story to me to NOT recognize with the purity of tears.
For example, I recently saw the new bridal comedy, "Bride Wars". This movie is a must see. It has a fabulous cast and is truly funny. Like the funny that makes you smile after you stop laughing because it's just that good. Anyways, it was at the wedding part of the movie when it hit me. One of the brides has no father to walk her down the aisle and no mother to help her button up the gown. Her best friend is not speaking to her (more like disposing of artillery on her) and her other friends are stuck between having to choose friends. She doesn't even have her fiancé because he's at the other end of the church WAITING for her. She's alone! ON HER WEDDING DAY. That realization, triggered by a slightly humorous moment, brought the water works! I mean, not only did I cry, I SOBBED. The kind of cry where even just thinking about it the next day makes you start crying all over again. Well after the movie had ended, I continued to have tears dripping from my face. It wasn't a pretty sight. But the thing that gets me, in retrospect, wasn't that I was hit by some depressing story and there was no hope. I was hit with the spirit of thanksgiving that I still have all those important relationships in my life. I was hit with the acknowledgment that, even with the most expensive and beautiful wedding, without the people who love you and have made your life complete, you're wedding is nothing more than frivolity and dress-up.
As I watched my dear friend and many strangers imagine themselves in satin and lace on the day we all look forward to, I remembered the need for relationships. The need we have to experience life WITH people. The big times in life are nothing when you have no one to share them with.
Back to the title of this post, I know now what I love. I love weddings. Not for the money put into them or the beautiful dresses or the mushy love songs. My passion comes from knowing the past - the story of how the couple met; the present - what this wedding and marriage mean to them; and the future - understanding the need to share life with your special someone. It's so much more than the dress and the cake (blasphemy, I know!). But then again, those are pretty good perks :)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
29 days.
So today I was reading the ever present "Daily Toreador" during one of my breaks. I came across an short story about a woman who, after being diagnose with MS, decided to give away 1 thing a day for 29 days. After completing the experiment, she no longer found herself wallowing in her sadness and illness. Rather, she found herself excited about life, about giving something to someone else rather than just taking all the time. I have decided that I am going to start this experiment and journal about it here. It doesnt have to be a monetary gift. A sweet note, folding my roommates' laundry instead of throwing it on her bed, making extra coffee in the morning for my roommate Carrie - these things won't cost me a dime but, in reality, they will bring the rewards that not even lots of money can bring.
For the next 29 days, I will give away something. Whether it's a bit of my time, making a friend supper, buying someone a cup of coffee, or just leaving a note in a fellow ADPI's box at the lodge, I will give something of myself to make the day better for another person. Who knows what might be in store for me?! In 29 days, a lot can happen. That's 696 hours to potentially STOP thinking about myself and focus on another. That's 41,760 minutes of brainstorming and plotting how I can better serve a neighbor. We shall see. Maybe it has a minor effect on my life - maybe it will just be an act of self-glory. But, then again, it could be one of the most important actions I could take because not only will I give myself a feeling of "good samaritanitis", but I might, just MIGHT, make the day a bit better for someone else.
Stay posted.
Stay warm.
And eat something yummy today :)
For the next 29 days, I will give away something. Whether it's a bit of my time, making a friend supper, buying someone a cup of coffee, or just leaving a note in a fellow ADPI's box at the lodge, I will give something of myself to make the day better for another person. Who knows what might be in store for me?! In 29 days, a lot can happen. That's 696 hours to potentially STOP thinking about myself and focus on another. That's 41,760 minutes of brainstorming and plotting how I can better serve a neighbor. We shall see. Maybe it has a minor effect on my life - maybe it will just be an act of self-glory. But, then again, it could be one of the most important actions I could take because not only will I give myself a feeling of "good samaritanitis", but I might, just MIGHT, make the day a bit better for someone else.
Stay posted.
Stay warm.
And eat something yummy today :)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
the first post.
In lieu of my first post for "something to munch on", I have decided to start out my blog using my first "fun-writing" essay. Since the theme is "soul snacking", here's a short essay I feel will appropriately introduce myself to my few buy, hopefully, loyal readers. Bon appetite!
Smooth. Rich. Delectable. Sweet. Savory. Every individual finds a different and unique meaning from these words. For me, these words paint a picture of cakes, cookies, brownies, and chocolate. Not the packaged sweets or ready made cookies, I love to bake my own desserts and try other homemade delectables. As the French might say, I am a true gourmande. In other words, or just plain English, I love to eat and to eat well. I’m not one to give up an order of fast food fries, pizza, or even a few Oreos with milk but if I had to choose between picking up Wendy’s or making my own meal, especially my own dessert, I would choose the latter.
I cannot remember the first time I was in the kitchen, developing my love for baking while feeding my tummy. I do remember, however, school nights when my parents would leave us kids with Mrs. Owen while they went out. After homework, dance, piano, and swim team, Mrs. Owen and I would preheat the oven to 325 degrees, set out the butter, roll up our sleeves, and get to work. Every time she was over, without fail, Mrs. Owen and I could be found working away in the kitchen. It was with her that I learned about packing down the brown sugar, adding an extra drop of vanilla for that surge of sweetness, and to set out the butter well in advance so that it was soft enough for the dough. Though we never ventured far from the traditional, yet always favored, chocolate chip cookie, this experience harvested within me a passion: baking.
Mrs. Owen sparked a flame which has continued to grow into a love for making, and most importantly for eating, desserts of any kind. My love for being in the kitchen continues. Among family and friends, I am known as “chef” or the one who brings food for any occasion- everything from parties to studying to just an opportunity to eat. There is a unique and special bond among those who love to cook, love to eat, and love to be around food. My good friend Lindy and I share in our love for creating goodies. We often talk about opening a bakery together so that we can dive daily into sugar, share our creations with our neighbors, and earn a living doing what we love. Holidays with the family offer the ideal time in the kitchen- cooking with my grandmothers, aunts, and mother. I love exploring old family favorites with my grandmother, Sita. Every time I visit her, we try a new recipe, cook homemade meals, and go out of our way to make fabulous foods. Sometimes it is as simple as chicken noodle soup made from scratch and other times as unique as cherry cheesecake or homemade jam.
In the kitchen, I am comfortable, safe, in control. Maybe I like to bake so much because I do have control there. With my spatula in hand and the oven set, I know things will turn out how I want them. If not, I am at fault and must be the one to fix it. Nobody but myself can change what I bake or tell me how to make it. Whether I am measuring out my dry ingredients or stirring my melting chocolate, I am able to control what goes on while anticipating the final product. From Italian Cream Cake to double chocolate cookies, baking is my gift to society: from my hands but, most importantly, from my heart.
A True Fatty
I cannot remember the first time I was in the kitchen, developing my love for baking while feeding my tummy. I do remember, however, school nights when my parents would leave us kids with Mrs. Owen while they went out. After homework, dance, piano, and swim team, Mrs. Owen and I would preheat the oven to 325 degrees, set out the butter, roll up our sleeves, and get to work. Every time she was over, without fail, Mrs. Owen and I could be found working away in the kitchen. It was with her that I learned about packing down the brown sugar, adding an extra drop of vanilla for that surge of sweetness, and to set out the butter well in advance so that it was soft enough for the dough. Though we never ventured far from the traditional, yet always favored, chocolate chip cookie, this experience harvested within me a passion: baking.
Mrs. Owen sparked a flame which has continued to grow into a love for making, and most importantly for eating, desserts of any kind. My love for being in the kitchen continues. Among family and friends, I am known as “chef” or the one who brings food for any occasion- everything from parties to studying to just an opportunity to eat. There is a unique and special bond among those who love to cook, love to eat, and love to be around food. My good friend Lindy and I share in our love for creating goodies. We often talk about opening a bakery together so that we can dive daily into sugar, share our creations with our neighbors, and earn a living doing what we love. Holidays with the family offer the ideal time in the kitchen- cooking with my grandmothers, aunts, and mother. I love exploring old family favorites with my grandmother, Sita. Every time I visit her, we try a new recipe, cook homemade meals, and go out of our way to make fabulous foods. Sometimes it is as simple as chicken noodle soup made from scratch and other times as unique as cherry cheesecake or homemade jam.
In the kitchen, I am comfortable, safe, in control. Maybe I like to bake so much because I do have control there. With my spatula in hand and the oven set, I know things will turn out how I want them. If not, I am at fault and must be the one to fix it. Nobody but myself can change what I bake or tell me how to make it. Whether I am measuring out my dry ingredients or stirring my melting chocolate, I am able to control what goes on while anticipating the final product. From Italian Cream Cake to double chocolate cookies, baking is my gift to society: from my hands but, most importantly, from my heart.
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